The symbolic meaning of the chili


People who can't take care of plants scare the death out of me. I was never a garden person but my grandmother was a gardener - still is, to some extent - and I've always looked up to her. Grams how do you make your plant flourish? There's so many blooming all the time. It's because she blooms as well. She puts thought into taking care of them and claims it's easy. Water and stuff. Not alot of people know how to water plants let alone other people.

Let's imagine that someone gives you specific instructions on how care for something, what this specific kind of species requires to maintain health and full potential. Seems simple. It is. If you put your heart into it it is very simple.

I have been said I've got spice in my nature. A special kind of chili so to speak. I have an instruction manual and people really should go with it. It is called caring. When I notice that effort and thought is not put in I cringe, crawl back to my shell and stop giving a fuck. Slowly distance myself from the person. Why is it so hard to ask what do you need? What is your idea of our time spent together?

I am mad. And also - mad. I love madness. It is my safety blanket. I was grown around it and I grew very fond of it. Second this that scares me are people who are not acknowledging their own insane. Or if they are blocking and ignoring it. When I fall ill my madness is my enemy but at its best it is the holding force that pushes me forward.

Plants are also simple. People are complex. Everyday I try to put this puzzle of emotion and reactions together but it does never make any sense. Maybe because it's not supposed to. We can't control everything. If we enjoy ourselves we might see the surround florish. It is not totally up to you but it still requires some beautiful work.

I realize now had I helped, the chili would still be alive. I'll have to try to regenerate.



xox,

Anni

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